Listening is an art; and we as parents must excel in that.
An active listener parent exhibits balanced understanding of the problem and then reacts accordingly. Our kids need to learn this – but with examples and not narration. Are you a good listener parent? Oh yeah! I am. Let’s do a small quiz here to see if we are ?
- You do not STOP your work completely to listen what your child is saying? – Yes/ No
- You ONLY listen completely if it affects you directly. –Â Yes/ No
- You only listen to the first part of statement and guess the aftermath. –Â Yes/ No
- Do you notice the tone difference in child’s ‘usual conversation’ ALWAYS? – Yes/ No
- You ALWAYS communicate with your child while making an eye contact? –Â Yes/ No
- It takes more than one attempt from your child, to get your attention. –Â Yes/ No
Be sincere to your replies, and introspect are you an active listener parent?
Prerequisite for being an active listener parent –
Situation one –
Mom: What took you so long?
Child: When he (friend) pushed me, I fell on the ground and …
Mother: What!! How could he? How dare he PUSHED you so hard? Let me go and talk to his Mother.
Situation two –
Mom: What took you so long?
Child: When he pushed me, I fell on the ground and my clothes got dirty. He took me home and cleaned me up. His mother brought me some juice and candies.
Mother: That’s so nice of them, but you should be careful next time while playing.
These are two different ways to handle same situation, hyper-reacting or not listening to conversation completely can lead to serious confusions. Children look up-to their parents for every action and reaction. It is our responsibility to bring best out of them with exemplary behavior.
Why Listening to children all the time is important?
Firstly, good listening enables efficient communication skills in children. Communication is a two-way process; Speaker and Receiver. Unless receiver is able to comprehend message completely the process will not complete.
Listening completely to children, bring them out of cagey cocoon. Kids often keep some feeling to themselves and create a cocoon around to hide from mingling with others. Eye contact and sensitive listening help them break the ice.
Consistent speaking holds back listening and understanding in kids. When kids with higher verbal tendencies, talk consistently they deter from understanding the message. Which could lead issues while studying in later stages.
Concentrated listening in children bring better understanding of concepts. School is the best place to meet new people and grow beyond comfort zone of home. With good listening habits, children easily learn new concepts and display sense of belonging towards educator and surroundings.
Bring better listening conditions by examples, be an active listener and exhibit the same to children. With efficient listening, we set a stage for our kids to learn and comprehend properly. So, be a good listener parent 🙂
This is the 2nd post in the series of “Gleeful Parenting“, that I have undertaken for #BlogchatterA2Z 2018 challenge by Blogchatter.
If you missed reading the first post from Gleeful Parenting series, no worries here is the link – A for Acceptance.
29 Comments
Being an active listening parent is very important to develop a relationship with the child. Good point, Dipika
Thank You so much Mayuri.
To bond with the child, listening is important.. Perfectly penned. Do have your say on my a and b too. A for acceptance and b is beautiful
Thank You Deepa for stopping by, and glad you liked the post. Yes I am right on it. Good Wishes for A-Z
You are so right dear and thank you for citing examples to explain. Really liked the post and look fw to read more and learn more ??
Thank you Roma, glad you liked the theme and post. I am in love with your Extraordinary series.. just finished reading today’s post.
Another useful read, Dipika! You write so clearly that it is easy to understand. Active listening is so important. I have seen parents, including myself sometimes listening to their kids while checking their smartphones, watching TV or while doing household chores.
Thank You dear, well honestly I am guilty too of not being an active listener all the time. But as we all know Parenting is on the job learning, we learn new things everyday.
And truthful words were never spoken before! 🙂
Now on wards, when my children will return home from school, I will dedicate all my attention to listening to their stories. Most of the times otherwise, I tend to rush them through the things…
Good lesson, Dipika.
Active listening is obviously important but I feel when we are going though high anxiety levels that is the time we listen the least. Impressive writing as usual.
Yes Sudha, that’s the time we avoid listening and do not give ample time to brain for processing information rationally. Taking impulsive route is dead-end. Thank you for reading.
its very important to be a good listener to develop an open chain of communication with your kid. Handy tips Dips!
Thank You Aks 🙂
Just the other day I had a heart-to-heart with my son who suddenly stopped going to play with his friends. After repeated attempts he confessed that he was being bullied by some big guys. Yes, active listening is very important and as parents we need to show our children that they and their words mean to us.
I agree Varsha, at times we just take on the face value of their words. But active listening might help us get into depth of current issues. Thank you so much for reading and connecting to the thought.
Absolutely ..Listening to others is more important even if you are parent or in any relation!!
This is the first thing that we learned in teacher training. Listening is so very important and this way the child too feels comfortable to share the good and bad that happens to him/her.
I am glad to know following the right track of positive parenting. Agree, active listening brings sense of connectivity to the issue and child’s morale gets uplifted to be paid attention.
Thank you for reading and connecting to it.
For a fact, I as a parent have been guilty of not ‘really’ listening to my kids. But that usually happens when I am preoccupied. Once my mind clears I go back to them as tell them to repeat what they’d said to me earlier. Very valid pointers you’ve made Dipika. If you want to be on the same page as your children, you need to LISTEN to them!
We all are Kala, at one point of time we all are guilty of this mistake. I am learning and so wish to share with all the Gleeful Lessons of Parenting. Thank You for stopping by and read.
A thought provoking post. We all get so busy that even though we feel we are listening to our kids, we are actually not paying much attention. Sometimes its important to pay attention to the tone and the body language too. Good one Dipika!
loved the example you gave about the mother in the beginning. nice post
Active listening helps in every situation and especially with a child it makes so much of a difference.
Listening, that too active, is very important. Very useful post. Thanks for such a great post.
Thanks a lot.
I am guilty of not being an active listener. I do make assumptions and don’t let her finish the conversation. I think your post did make me introspect.
So am I, and many more like us. But learning and growing is called life. Thanks for reading.
[…] basis of any relationship is trust, build that trust by listening to them. Give them your time to only share. Do not jump on conclusions, just let them share their heart out […]