The Secret Crush Part II

Is there a foolproof strategy for a happy relationship? Any secret potion that makes a relationship work! Only if we knew, half of the world’s unhappy couples would have been living a happily ever after life. But, we know, life isn’t a fairy tale and love can’t solve all the problems. Hence, there are long queues outside family courts and divorce lawyers’ offices.

However, millions of happy couples have made their relationship work. There are little things that make you happy in a relationship. In this post, we will talk about 5 ‘open’ secrets of Happy and Healthy Relationships.

Are there any Tips for Building a Happy Relationship?

Well, there is no right or wrong answer to this question, it depends on the personal equations of people in a relationship. But, let us learn from the story of Sushma how she beat the odds and lived happily ever after with her beloved for a lifetime.

Sushma was sitting by her favorite corner, next to the veranda mogra shrub busy chanting with tulsi-mala, when Nidhi stormed inside from the front gate. Looking furious, she directly went to her old room, without even mentioning her arrival to anyone. It has become a daily affair ever since she and her husband moved to Baroda. Kaveesh, her poor husband usually comes by evening or the next day to make up and take her back home.

For hours she didn’t come out of her room, Finally, Madhu (mother) decided to go and check on her daughter, when, Kaveesh (Nidhi’a husband) entered from the front gate with a sorry face and droopy shoulders. Rishub (father) motioned him toward Nidhi’s room and within no time, she was out as if nothing ever happened. Everything was back to normal in no time, courtesy of Kaveesh.

Sushma was silently looking at the whole commotion, sipping her evening tea when Nidhi quipped her, ‘Ba, aren’t you going to share any neighborhood gossip with me today?’ Her granny gave a soft chuckle, and said, ‘I am going to tell you a story today, are you all up for it?’

Everyone gathered around Sushma, and she began –

Many years ago a young girl entered a temple compound with her shoes on. Priests and other elderly started yelling at her. Astounded she froze in a position unable to move when a young lad bent down to hold her hand and helped in removing the slippers with a sweet smile. He had very beautiful brown eyes.

An year later, a few people came to her house with a marriage proposal, seeing the groom before marriage was not permitted during those days but after their wedding, she got a glimpse of a familiar sweet smile. She was sent to her maternal home for a few months after the wedding rituals as per customs, with a little spark of affection for the boy who held her in the temple.

Fifteen months later, she entered her husband’s home. Mother and elders had given her a long list of do’s and don’ts for her wedded life. She felt very timid at the age of seventeen among the strange prying eyes. It was her mother-in-law who called her inside the room when she met her spouse for the very first time. Her fluttering heart found solace in those two shining brown eyes. She was lost in the warmth of her husband’s comforting eyes and a broad smile. He had something about him, that brought calmness to her chirpy skittish self.

Secrets of How to Be Happy in a Relationship

They started a new life together without any wisdom. With each passing day, they learned new things and gained experience. He was a suave tall man with ‘English’ features, while she was a modest lady, they developed trust and respect for each other. Despite odds, together they fought life battles, poverty, social pressures, and judgments. He brought calmness to her anxious heart and in return she was completely dedicated to him.

If made for each other is to be personified, they were the ideal match. In the first few years of marriage, they made five promises for a happy married life –

1. Always Communicate for a happy relationship –

No matter what the situation is, however ugly the fight or argument is, always communicate with each other without any appeasement. Openly share your feelings without holding back or any resentment.

Open communication is the most basic thing to have a happy relationship with your spouse. Not communicating means you are building resentment and slowly it will cloud your judgment and distance yourself from those you really love.

2. Compromise –

A successful relationship requires a few sacrifices and compromises to meet on a common ground. That doesn’t mean to stop living your life and forgo what you like the most. But, compromising on common grounds from both ends for a shared goal, a happy married life.

Never let your ego and selfish motives come in between your marriage. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with each other every time or vice-versa, but, as a couple you need to identify what’s best for ‘us’.

3. Respect –

You need to respect each other in a relationship and as two different individuals. Disrespecting each other will only add resentment and fade away the charm of love. Both partners must value each other’s choices and respect the differences of opinion.

Every healthy relationship is based on the foundation of respect. Disrespecting your spouse in front of others will only pull down their self-respect and eventually end up in a loveless marriage.

4. Spending Quality Time Together and Away –

Spending time away from each other is as important a component as staying together for a happy married life. Time spent away brings novelty in life and strikes the right balance in a relationship.

Spending quality time with each other apart from living together as a couple means a huge difference. Movie nights, dinner dates, vacations, and holidays to enjoy each other’s company bring a new leash of life in a relationship.

5. Refrain from Criticising for a Happy Relationship –

While keeping expectations real in life, one must not indulge in over-criticism. All relationships go through their ups and downs, but that doesn’t cause any one partner to become hyper-critical. If your partner is sensitive about something, be patient and give him/her a little time.

These were the promises they made to each other 60-odd years ago and never broke each other’s trust even once. Sushma looked up from her chair, everyone was amusingly listening to her. She saw Nidhi clutching at Kaveesh’s hand while Madhu and Rishab were sitting by the sofa looking at their mother with contentment.

Sushma got up from her chair, when Nidhi asked, ‘Ba, this felt like a real story, who was that little girl and brown-eyed boy?’ She didn’t reply to her granddaughter’s question, just smiled waving at a memorial portrait hung on the wall. A handsome wrinkled face of her late grandfather was smiling back at Nidhi with comforting brown eyes.

Do you like reading fiction, here is a suspense story just for you, Click here.

This post is written for the Speakeasy 3.0 blogging challenge hosted by myself and Ruchi Verma.

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